Why It's Important To Say "I Love You"?

 

Saying I love you is something so simple yet all too often it is also something we take for granted. That tiny little three word phrase is one of the most powerful strings of words in the world that all humans long to hear, yet when we examine our day many of us may not hear it enough, and saddest of all some may not hear it once. As a child it is something we often say without even thinking of it, yet as adults the words all too often become harder to say in some cases for reasons we don't always understand even though we know how important saying it is. 

It is important to say I love you because it is reassuring. As humans we all have vulnerabilities, especially when it comes to the way we perceive how others feel about us. The husband that goes days on end without actually hearing those words from his wife may get insecure and vise versa. Not hearing an I love you returned or spontaneously offered can create doubts because it is our natural reaction to let our mind wander and try to find reasons why those words have not been said. Usually the only reasons that are formulated are negative reasons, so saying I love you removes that doubt and reassures a person that everything is okay and there is no need to worry.

In the parent child dynamic it lets each side know that even though they are inevitably not going to see eye to eye on many things that disagreeing does not mean love is absent. For a child it is especially important that they hear they are loved often because it provides them with a sense of security. A part of growing up is making mistakes and getting into trouble which both sometimes lead to punishment or some negative outcome. It is important that they know that although they may have done something wrong, they are still loved, that love is not something to be used as a weapon. For a parent it is important to hear I love you from your child because it recharges the parental batteries and reminds us that every sacrifice made for our children is worth it.

As friends it is important we say I love you because it reaffirms the bonds we share and lets people know how important they are to us. In some cases a friend may not have anyone else in their life that tells them they are loved. While not hearing from someone that you are loved won't end a life like loss of oxygen, it can lead to depression and a malaise that drags a person down and creates a defeatist attitude. Just telling them they are loved now and then can rectify that in such a simple way and lift them up to to not say it seems ridiculous.

It is important we tell people we love them because we cannot see the future. The reality of life is that death will eventually find us all and we never know when that will happen. There are few things sadder than watching a person carry the regret of not having told someone they were loved one last time, or even once at all.

It is important we say I love you often and to everyone we do love because while it is good for them to hear, it is equally good for us to say it. The more we say it the more we hear it in return. It fosters a greater tolerance for each other and smooths the waters the ship of life sails over. It costs us nothing to say it and serves as one of the greatest medicines known to man. hearing I love you heals so many wounds and serves to prevent others from forming. Saying I love you is important for all the above reasons and countless others, so please remember to say it to someone everyday, it can change both of your lives.

Understanding Depression Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Help

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when emptiness and despair take hold and won't go away, it may be depression. Just getting through the day can be overwhelming. No matter how hopeless you feel, the first step to recovery is to understand the problem.

What is depression?

We all go through ups and downs in our mood. Sadness is a normal reaction to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word “depression” to explain these kinds of feelings, but depression is much more than just sadness.
Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or men in particular may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless.
Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.

Are you depressed?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

• you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
• you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
• you feel hopeless and helpless
• you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
• you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
• you are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual
• you’re consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior
• you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

Signs and symptoms of depression

Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted—the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling, that's when it's time to seek help.

Common signs and symptoms of depression

• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
• Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
• Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
• Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
• Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
• Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
• Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
• Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
• Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
• Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

Depression and suicide

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. Thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression, so take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it's a cry for help.

Warning signs of suicide include:

Talking about killing or harming one’s self Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or being trapped An unusual preoccupation with death or dying Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish (e.g. speeding through red lights)

Calling or visiting people to say goodbye Getting affairs in order (giving away prized possessions, tying up loose ends) Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I want out” A sudden switch from being extremely depressed to acting calm and happy

If You Are Feeling Suicidal...

When you’re feeling extremely depressed or suicidal, problems don’t seem temporary—they seem overwhelming and permanent. But with time, you will feel better, especially if you reach out for help. If you are feeling suicidal, know that there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time, so please reach out for help!

If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide...

Express your concern and seek professional help immediately. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life!

Depression often looks different in men and women, and in young people and older adults. An awareness of these differences helps ensure that the problem is recognized and treated.

Depression in men

Depression is a loaded word in our culture. Many associate it, however wrongly, with a sign of weakness and excessive emotion. This is especially true with men. Depressed men are less likely than women to acknowledge feelings of self-loathing and hopelessness. Instead, they tend to complain about fatigue, irritability, sleep problems, and loss of interest in work and hobbies. Other signs and symptoms of depression in men include anger, aggression, violence, reckless behavior, and substance abuse. Even though depression rates for women are twice as high as those in men, men are a higher suicide risk, especially older men.

Depression in women

Rates of depression in women are twice as high as they are in men. This is due in part to hormonal factors, particularly when it comes to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), postpartum depression, and perimenopausal depression. As for signs and symptoms, women are more likely than men to experience pronounced feelings of guilt, sleep excessively, overeat, and gain weight. Women are also more likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder.

Depression in teens

While some depressed teens appear sad, others do not. In fact, irritability—rather than depression—is frequently the predominant symptom in depressed adolescents and teens. A depressed teenager may be hostile, grumpy, or easily lose his or her temper. Unexplained aches and pains are also common symptoms of depression in young people.
Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide. But with help, teenage depression is highly treatable.

Depression in older adults

The difficult changes that many older adults face—such as bereavement, loss of independence, and health problems—can lead to depression, especially in those without a strong support system. However, depression is not a normal part of aging. Older adults tend to complain more about the physical rather than the emotional signs and symptoms of depression, and so the problem often goes unrecognized. Depression in older adults is associated with poor health, a high mortality rate, and an increased risk of suicide, so diagnosis and treatment are extremely important.

Postpartum Depression

Many new mothers suffer from some fleeting form of the “baby blues.” Postpartum depression, in contrast, is a longer lasting and more serious depression triggered, in part, by hormonal changes associated with having a baby. Postpartum depression usually develops soon after delivery, but any depression that occurs within six months of childbirth may be postpartum depression.

Types of depression

Depression comes in many shapes and forms. The different types of depression have unique symptoms, causes, and effects. Knowing what type of depression you have can help you manage your symptoms and get the most effective treatment.

Major depression

Major depression is characterized by the inability to enjoy life and experience pleasure. The symptoms are constant, ranging from moderate to severe. Left untreated, major depression typically lasts for about six months. Some people experience just a single depressive episode in their lifetime, but more commonly, major depression is a recurring disorder. However, there are many things you can do to support your mood and reduce the risk of recurrence.

Dysthymia (recurrent, mild depression)

Dysthmia is a type of chronic “low-grade” depression. More days than not, you feel mildly or moderately depressed, although you may have brief periods of normal mood. The symptoms of dysthymia are not as strong as the symptoms of major depression, but they last a long time (at least two years). These chronic symptoms make it very difficult to live life to the fullest or to remember better times. Some people also experience major depressive episodes on top of dysthymia, a condition known as “double depression.” If you suffer from dysthymia, you may feel like you’ve always been depressed. Or you may think that your continuous low mood is “just the way you are.” However, dysthymia can be treated, even if your symptoms have gone unrecognized or untreated for years.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

There’s a reason why so many movies and books portray rainy days and stormy weather as gloomy. Some people get depressed in the fall or winter, when overcast days are frequent and sunlight is limited. This type of depression is called seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Seasonal affective disorder is more common in northern climates and in younger people. Like depression, seasonal affective disorder is treatable. Light therapy, a treatment that involves exposure to bright artificial light, often helps relieve symptoms.

Bipolar Disorder: When Depression is Just One Side of the Coin

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is characterized by cycling mood changes. Episodes of depression alternate with manic episodes, which can include impulsive behavior, hyperactivity, rapid speech, and little to no sleep. Typically, the switch from one mood extreme to the other is gradual, with each manic or depressive episode lasting for at least several weeks. When depressed, a person with bipolar disorder exhibits the usual symptoms of major depression. However, the treatments for bipolar depression are very different. In fact, antidepressants can make bipolar depression worse.

Depression causes and risk factors

Some illnesses have a specific medical cause, making treatment straightforward. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have appendicitis, you have surgery. But depression is more complicated. Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is not simply cured with medication. Experts believe that depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. In other words, your lifestyle choices, relationships, and coping skills matter just as much—if not more so—than genetics. However, certain risk factors make you more vulnerable to depression.

Causes and risk factors for depression

• Loneliness
• Lack of social support
• Recent stressful life experiences
• Family history of depression
• Marital or relationship problems

• Financial strain
• Early childhood trauma or abuse
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Unemployment or underemployment
• Health problems or chronic pain

The cause of your depression helps determine the treatment

Understanding the underlying cause of your depression may help you overcome the problem. For example, if you are depressed because of a dead end job, the best treatment might be finding a more satisfying career, not taking an antidepressant. If you are new to an area and feeling lonely and sad, finding new friends at work or through a hobby will probably give you more of a mood boost than going to therapy. In such cases, the depression is remedied by changing the situation.

The road to depression recovery

Just as the symptoms and causes of depression are different in different people, so are the ways to feel better. What works for one person might not work for another, and no one treatment is appropriate in all cases. If you recognize the signs of depression in yourself or a loved one, take some time to explore the many treatment options. In most cases, the best approach involves a combination of social support, lifestyle changes, emotional skills building, and professional help.

Ask for help and support

If even the thought of tackling your depression seems overwhelming, don’t panic. Feeling helpless and hopeless is a symptom of depression—not the reality of your situation. It does not mean that you’re weak or you can’t change! The key to depression recovery is to start small and ask for help. Having a strong support system in place will speed your recovery. Isolation fuels depression, so reach out to others, even when you feel like being alone. Let your family and friends know what you’re going through and how they can support you.

Make healthy lifestyle changes

Lifestyle changes are not always easy to make, but they can have a big impact on depression. Lifestyle changes that can be very effective include:

• Cultivating supportive relationships
• Getting regular exercise and sleep
• Eating healthfully to naturally boost mood
• Managing stress
• Practicing relaxation techniques
• Challenging negative thought patterns

Many people lack the skills needed to manage stress and balance emotions. Building emotional skills can give you the ability to cope and bounce back from adversity, trauma, and loss. In other words, learning how to recognize and express your emotions can make you more resilient.

Seek professional help

If support from family and friends, positive lifestyle changes, and emotional skills building aren’t enough, seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression, including therapy, medication, and alternative treatments. Learning about your options will help you decide what measures are most likely to work best for your particular situation and needs.

Are antidepressants right for you?

Medication can help relieve the symptoms of depression in some people, but they aren’t a cure and they come with drawbacks of their own. Learning the facts about antidepressants and weighing the benefits against the risks can help you make an informed and personal decision about whether medication is right for you.

Effective treatment for depression often includes some form of therapy. Therapy gives you tools to treat depression from a variety of angles. Also, what you learn in therapy gives you skills and insight to prevent depression from coming back.
Some types of therapy teach you practical techniques on how to reframe negative thinking and employ behavioral skills in combating depression. Therapy can also help you work through the root of your depression, helping you understand why you feel a certain way, what your triggers are for depression, and what you can do to stay healthy.

Top Ten Reasons Why Large Companies Fail To Keep Their Best Talent

1. Big Company Bureaucracy. This is probably the #1 reason we hear after the fact from disenchanted employees. However, it’s usually a reason that masks the real reason. No one likes rules that make no sense. But, when top talent is complaining along these lines, it’s usually a sign that they didn’t feel as if they had a say in these rules. They were simply told to follow along and get with the program. No voice in the process and really talented people say “check please.”
2. Failing to Find a Project for the Talent that Ignites Their Passion. Big companies have many moving parts — by definition. Therefore, they usually don’t have people going around to their best and brightest asking them if they’re enjoying their current projects or if they want to work on something new that they’re really interested in which would help the company. HR people are usually too busy keeping up with other things to get into this. The bosses are also usually tapped out on time and this becomes a “nice to have” rather than “must have” conversation. However, unless you see it as a “must have,” say adios to some of your best people. Top talent isn’t driven by money and power, but by the opportunity to be a part of something huge, that will change the world, and for which they are really passionate. Big companies usually never spend the time to figure this out with those people.
3. Poor Annual Performance Reviews. You would be amazed at how many companies do not do a very effective job at annual performance reviews. Or, if they have them, they are rushed through, with a form quickly filled out and sent off to HR, and back to real work. The impression this leaves with the employee is that my boss — and, therefore, the company — isn’t really interested in my long-term future here. If you’re talented enough, why stay? This one leads into #4….
4. No Discussion around Career Development. Here’s a secret for most bosses: most employees don’t know what they’ll be doing in 5 years. In our experience, about less than 5% of people could tell you if you asked. However, everyone wants to have a discussion with you about their future. Most bosses never engage with their employees about where they want to go in their careers — even the top talent. This represents a huge opportunity for you and your organization if you do bring it up. Our best clients have separate annual discussions with their employees — apart from their annual or bi-annual performance review meetings — to discuss succession planning or career development. If your best people know that you think there’s a path for them going forward, they’ll be more likely to hang around.
5. Shifting Whims/Strategic Priorities.  The challenge for most organizations is not setting up a strategic priority, like establishing an incubator, but sticking with it a year or two from now. If you commit to a project that they will be heading up, you’ve got to give them enough opportunity to deliver what they’ve promised.
6. Lack of Accountability and/or telling them how to do their Jobs. Top talent demands accountability from others and doesn’t mind being held accountable for their projects. Therefore, have regular touch points with your best people as they work through their projects. They’ll appreciate your insights/observations/suggestions — as long as they don’t spillover into preaching.
7. Top Talent likes other Top Talent. What are the rest of the people around your top talent like? Many organizations keep some people on the payroll that rationally shouldn’t be there. You’ll get a litany of rationales explaining why when you ask. “It’s too hard to find a replacement for him/her….” “Now’s not the time….” However, doing exit interviews with the best people leaving big companies you often hear how they were turned off by some of their former “team mates.” If you want to keep your best people, make sure they’re surrounded by other great people.
8. The Missing Vision Thing. This might sound obvious, but is the future of your organization exciting? What strategy are you executing? What is the vision you want this talented person to fulfill? Did they have a say/input into this vision? If the answer is no, there’s work to do — and fast.
9. Lack of Open-Mindedness. The best people want to share their ideas and have them listened to. However, a lot of companies have a vision/strategy which they are trying to execute against — and, often find opposing voices to this strategy as an annoyance and a sign that someone’s not a “team player.” If all the best people are leaving and disagreeing with the strategy, you’re left with a bunch of “yes” people saying the same things to each other. You’ve got to be able to listen to others’ points of view — always incorporating the best parts of these new suggestions.
10. Who’s the Boss? If a few people have recently quit at your company who report to the same boss, it’s likely not a coincidence. We’ll often get asked to come in and “fix” someone who’s a great sales person, engineer, or is a founder, but who is driving everyone around them “nuts.” We can try, but unfortunately, executive coaching usually only works 33% of the time in these cases. You’re better off trying to find another spot for them in the organization — or, at the very least, not overseeing your high-potential talent that you want to keep.

Why Sitting At Work Can Be So Deadly

If you sit all day at work, you may want to pay attention to recent research which demonstrates that prolonged sitting at work raises the risk of dying from cardiac and metabolic diseases, as well as the risk of dying from all causes, even if you work out or exercise.

More recent research is focusing on how sedentary behavior–including sitting and lying down– serve as behavioral risk factors for obesity and chronic disease. As employees spend 9 hours a day or longer at work, with fewer than 20% of jobs involving physical exertion at some level, (with many people spending at least 4 hours a day sitting at work), sedentary time at work is high, leading to dangerous circumstances for the many people affected.
In the study at hand, Anne Grunseit, PhD, from the Prevention Research Collaboration in the School of Public Health at the University of Sydney, Australia, and Norwegian colleagues investigated the relationship between occupational sitting, body mass index (BMI), and mortality in a general population sample from 1995-1997 (45,259). They evaluated 20 year old patients from Norway, placing patients into the following categories: mostly sitting, much walking at work, much walking or lifting, and heavy physical labor. Patients self-reported their level of sitting at work. They were stratified by BMI (healthy, 18.5 to <25 kg/m²; overweight, 25 to <30 kg/m²; and obese, 30 kg/m² or greater). About 30% of participants reported having an occupation in which they were mostly sitting.
All-cause mortality increased as BMI increased from normal weight to overweight to obese (5.0, 6.8, and 9.4 deaths/1000 person-years, respectively). The trend was similar for CV/metabolic disease mortality (1.8, 2.8, and 4.4 deaths/1000 person-years, respectively). After adjusting for BMI and other variables (light and hard exercise, education, sex, general health, smoking status, and cardiac disease), sedentary work was associated with higher all-cause mortality and cardiac/metabolic disease mortality compared with occupations with significant walking, significant walking or lifting, or heavy physical labor.
Based on the study, all-cause mortality risk increased along with BMI for all levels of occupational activity. For employees with a healthy BMI, the mortality curves over time were the same for all levels of activity, but separated according to activity level as BMI increased, with the greatest risk for sedentary workers in the obese range. As an example, someone who has an active occupation (involving walking and lifting) had a 27% lower chance of dying than someone who mostly sat in their occupation among those in the obese category. Cardiovascular mortality risk was about one-third lower among overweight participants and 45% lower among obese participants who had walking and lifting occupations compared with sitting.
The author concludes that those in occupations involving some activity have lower rates for all-cause and cardiovascular or metabolic disease mortality, even when adjusted for demographic, health, and physical activity characteristics outside of work The study further demonstrated that the protective effect of occupational activity appeared to be significant for the groups whose BMIs were in the overweight or obese categories.
One limitation of the study is that it did not include a category for standing, and did not adjust for quality of diet. Strengths of the study included its prospective and large general population and  long follow-up time (12-14 years).

The take home points from this study:
1. Reduced sitting at work would benefit overweight or obese people the most because they already have a higher baseline risk for mortality.
2. People would likely benefit from spending more time standing at work.
3. Using a “stability ball” as opposed to a chair may be beneficial to engage core muscles if you must sit at work
4. If you do spend a fair amount of time sitting at work, take frequent breaks to stand. Added tone from standing will allow your muscles to expend energy.

 

  Source: www.forbes.com

 

Intelligence Is Overrated: What You Really Need To Succeed

Albert Einstein’s was estimated at 160, Madonna’s is 140, and John F. Kennedy’s was only 119, but as it turns out, your IQ score pales in comparison with your EQ, MQ, and BQ scores when it comes to predicting your success and professional achievement.

IQ tests are used as an indicator of logical reasoning ability and technical intelligence. A high IQ is often a prerequisite for rising to the top ranks of business today. It is necessary, but it is not adequate to predict executive competence and corporate success. By itself, a high IQ does not guarantee that you will stand out and rise above everyone else.

Research carried out by the Carnegie Institute of Technology shows that 85 percent of your financial success is due to skills in “human engineering,” your personality and ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead. Shockingly, only 15 percent is due to technical knowledge. Additionally, Nobel Prize winning Israeli-American psychologist, Daniel Kahneman, found that people would rather do business with a person they like and trust rather than someone they don’t, even if the likeable person is offering a lower quality product or service at a higher price.

With this in mind, instead of exclusively focusing on your conventional intelligence quotient, you should make an investment in strengthening your EQ (Emotional Intelligence), MQ (Moral Intelligence), and BQ (Body Intelligence). These concepts may be elusive and difficult to measure, but their significance is far greater than IQ.
Emotional Intelligence
EQ is the most well known of the three, and in brief it is about: being aware of your own feelings and those of others, regulating these feelings in yourself and others, using emotions that are appropriate to the situation, self-motivation,  and building relationships.
Top Tip for Improvement: First, become aware of your inner dialogue. It helps to keep a journal of what thoughts fill your mind during the day. Stress can be a huge killer of emotional intelligence, so you also need to develop healthy coping techniques that can effectively and quickly reduce stress in a volatile situation.
Moral Intelligence
MQ directly follows EQ as it deals with your integrity, responsibility, sympathy, and forgiveness. The way you treat yourself is the way other people will treat you. Keeping commitments, maintaining your integrity, and being honest are crucial to moral intelligence.
Top Tip for Improvement: Make fewer excuses and take responsibility for your actions. Avoid little white lies. Show sympathy and communicate respect to others. Practice acceptance and show tolerance of other people’s shortcomings. Forgiveness is not just about how we relate to others; it’s also how you relate to and feel about yourself.
Body Intelligence
Lastly, there is your BQ, or body intelligence, which reflects what you know about your body, how you feel about it, and take care of it. Your body is constantly telling you things; are you listening to the signals or ignoring them? Are you eating energy-giving or energy-draining foods on a daily basis? Are you getting enough rest? Do you exercise and take care of your body? It may seem like these matters are unrelated to business performance, but your body intelligence absolutely affects your work because it largely determines your feelings, thoughts, self-confidence, state of mind, and energy level.

Top Tip For Improvement: At least once a day, listen to the messages your body is sending you about your health. Actively monitor these signals instead of going on autopilot. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate rest are all key aspects of having a high BQ. Monitoring your weight, practicing moderation with alcohol, and making sure you have down time can dramatically benefit the functioning of your brain and the way you perform at work.
What You Really Need To Succeed
It doesn’t matter if you did not receive the best academic training from a top university. A person with less education who has fully developed their EQ, MQ, and BQ can be far more successful than a person with an impressive education who falls short in these other categories.
Yes, it is certainly good to be an intelligent, rational thinker and have a high IQ; this is an important asset. But you must realize that it is not enough. Your IQ will help you personally, but EQ, MQ, and BQ will benefit everyone around you as well. If you can master the complexities of these unique and often under-rated forms of intelligence, research tells us you will achieve greater success and be regarded as more professionally competent and capable.

Source: www.forbes.com

10 Most In Demand Jobs For 2012

Make this year your best one by getting your dream job. More job openings will be available for Filipinos as foreign companies are set to invest in the Philippines this 2012.

In demand jobs for Filipinos are still related to Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) and Information Technology and Communication (ITC) companies. BPO and IT companies will be larger this year as the demand for customer care and technology are very high.

JobOpenings.ph lists down top 10 most in demand jobs in local companies nationwide. Check and apply on the following:

1. Jobs in Information Technology

Positions: Programmers, Graphic Artists, Web developers, etc

Number of job openings: 1,990

2. Jobs in Business Process Outsourcing (BPO)

Positions: Call Center Agent, Techinical Support Representative, Internet Banking Specialist, etc

Number of Job Opneings: 1,793

3. Jobs in Marketing/Sales

Positions: Marketing Assistant, Sales Clerk, Sales Admin, etc.

Number of Job Openings: 1,719

4. Jobs in Accounting/ Business and Finance

Positions: Accountant, Auditor, Teller, etc.

Number of Job Openings: 1,287

5. Jobs in Human Resource

Positions: HR Personnel, HR Manager, etc

Number of Job Openings: 638

6. Jobs In Business Management

Positions: Marketing Associate, Administrative Staff, Manage, etc.

Number of Job Openings: 529

7. Jobs in Manufacturing

Positions: Factory Worker, Sewer, Storekeeper, etc.

Number of Job Openings: 456

8. Jobs in Hotel and Restaurants

Positions: Waiter, Receptionist, Service Crew, etc.

          Number of Job Openings: 426

9. Jobs in Engineering

Positions: Mechanical Engineer, Civil Engineer, Project Coordinator, etc.

          Number of Job Openings: 355

10. Jobs in Medical/Healthcare

Positions: Nurse, Medical Representative, Medical Transcriptionist, etc.

Number of Job Openings: 228

Source: www.jobopenings.ph

Strategies for Controlling Your Anger

 

Everybody gets angry, but out-of-control rage isn't good for you or those around you. When you can't control your anger, you may get into fist-fights or drive recklessly, for example, endangering yourself and others.

But anger also plays havoc with your own body. Research shows that anger can increase people's -- especially men's -- chances of developing coronary heart disease and having worse outcomes if they already have heart disease.¹ Anger can also lead to stress-related problems, such as insomnia, digestive problems, and headaches.
You can learn to control your anger, however. In one study for example, cognitive-behavioral therapy improved people's control of their anger and reduced their hostility, aggression, and depression.² Here are some strategies you can use to simmer down. If you are in a relationship with a hot-tempered partner, you could both benefit from these techniques.

Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help soothe angry feelings.
Try these simple steps:

• Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm. Breathing from your chest won't relax you, so picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
• Slowly repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "relax" or "take it easy." Keep repeating it to yourself while breathing deeply.
• Use imagery. Visualize a relaxing experience from your memory or your imagination.
• Try non-strenuous, slow exercises. Yoga and similar activities can relax your muscles and calm you down.

Practice these techniques daily. Eventually, you'll be able to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.

Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, cognitive restructuring means changing the way you think. When you're angry, your thinking can get overly dramatic. When something goes wrong, you might tell yourself, "Everything's ruined!" With cognitive restructuring, you replace those kinds of thoughts with more reasonable ones. You might tell yourself instead, "This is frustrating, but it's not the end of the world."
Try these strategies:

• Avoid words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or others. Statements like "This never works" or "You're always forgetting things" make you feel your anger is justified and there's no way to solve the problem. Such statements also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
• Focus on goals. Say you have a friend who's constantly late when you get together. Don't go on the attack. Instead, think about what you want to accomplish. State the problem and then try to find a solution that works for both of you. If that doesn't work, take matters into your own hands. You might tell your friend to meet you half an hour earlier than you plan to arrive, so that he or she will get there when you do. Either way, the problem is solved -- without damaging the friendship.
• Use logic. Even when it's justified, anger can quickly become irrational. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you and that you're just experiencing one of life's inevitable rough spots. Do this each time you start feeling angry, and you'll get a more balanced perspective.
• Translate expectations into desires. Angry people tend to demand things, whether it's fairness, appreciation, agreement, or just the willingness to do things their way. We are all hurt, disappointed, and frustrated when we don't get what we want, but don't let disappointment turn into anger. Some people use anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't make the hurt go away. Instead, become aware of your demanding nature and change your demands into requests. Saying you would like something is healthier than saying you must have it.

Problem-Solving

Sometimes anger and frustration are the result of very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Anger can be a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. Some people have a cultural belief that every problem has a solution. That belief adds to their frustration when they find out that this isn't always true. If you can't find a solution, focus on how to handle and face the problem.
Make a plan and check your progress along the way, using a guide to organizing or time management if needed. Give it your best, but don't punish yourself if you don't find an answer right away.

Better Communication

Angry people tend to jump to conclusions, however far-fetched. If you are in a heated discussion, slow down. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. And take your time before answering. Instead of saying the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
Think about what's behind your anger. Say you value your freedom, but your significant other wants more closeness. If he or she starts complaining, don't retaliate by painting you partner as a jailer.
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's beneath the words. Perhaps the real message is that your partner feels neglected and unloved. It may take patient questioning, but don't let anger spin things out of control.

Humor

Humor can help defuse rage in several ways.
For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you find yourself thinking of a coworker as a single-cell life form, think what that would look like, picturing an amoeba sitting at a desk and talking on the phone. Or draw a picture. Doing so will take the edge off your fury or help defuse a tense situation.
Humor can also help when you find yourself being unreasonable. If you find yourself thinking that things not going your way is an unbearable indignity you shouldn't have to tolerate, picture yourself as a god or goddess who always gets your way while others defer to you. The more detail you add, the more you'll realize how unreasonable you are and how unimportant the things you're angry about really are.
There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems. Rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't use harsh, sarcastic humor. Such humor is just another form of aggression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously.

Environmental Change

Sometimes it's your immediate circumstances that prompt angry feelings. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you angry at the trap you seem to have fallen into -- and all the people and things that form that trap.
Take road rage, for example. If driving makes you furious, research suggests, you're putting yourself and others at risk.³ Angry drivers are more aggressive, take more chances, and report more accidents and near-misses than their more relaxed counterparts. If your commute leaves you frustrated or enraged, perhaps you could find a less congested or more scenic route. Or investigate alternative options, such as taking a bus or train. Finding alternatives can ease your anger, making the road safer for everyone.
Try these other tips for easing up:

• Give yourself a break. Make sure to schedule some personal time during especially stressful parts of the day. You might have a rule that the first 15 minutes after coming home from work will be quiet time, for example. With this brief respite, you'll feel better prepared to handle demands from your kids without blowing up.
• Consider the timing. If you and your spouse tend to fight at night, perhaps it's because you're tired, distracted, or just accustomed to fighting then. Try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.
• Avoid what you can. If you get furious when you walk by your child's messy room, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. And don't tell yourself your child should clean up so you won't have to be angry. That's not the point: The point is to keep yourself calm.

How a Psychologist Can Help

If you continue to feel overwhelmed, consult with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional who can help you learn how to control your anger. He or she can help you identify problem areas and then develop an action plan for changing them.
Practicing psychologists use a variety of evidence-based treatments -- most commonly therapy -- to help people improve their lives. Psychologists, who have doctoral degrees, receive one of the highest levels of education of any health care professionals. On average, they spend seven years in education and training following their undergraduate degrees.

Article Sources

1. Chida, Y., & Steptoe, A. (2009). "The association of anger and hostility with future coronary heart disease: A meta-analytic review of prospective evidence." Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 53 (11): 936-946.
2. McCloskey, M.S., Noblett, K.L., & et al. (2008). "Cognitive-behavioral therapy for intermittent explosive disorder: A pilot randomized clinical trial." Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76 (5): 876-876.
3. Deffenbacher, J.L. (2009). "Angry drivers: Characteristics and clinical interventions." Revista Mexicana de Psicología, 26 (1): 5-16.

Excerpt from The American Psychological Association. Revised October 2011

Traveling abroad 101: How to get a passport

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and if that journey is to a foreign country, your first step will likely be getting a passport from the Department of Foreign Affairs.

Before the DFA can give you a passport, it needs to know who you are and whether you are who you say you are.

You will need to have a National Statistics Office-certified copy of your birth certificate which could now be requested online.

You will also need a government-issued ID like a Voter's ID or driver's license. Students can use their school IDs when applying for a passport.

The DFA also requires the submission of supporting documents that prove your identity. Among those listed on its website are marriage contracts, land titles, transcripts of records, or "other documents that show the full name and birth details of applicant." If you don't have those, your driver's license will do.

You should have all your documents and IDs photocopied before heading to the DFA.

Setting an appointment

If all your papers are ready, you can set an appointment with the DFA so your application will be processed. This can be done over the telephone, through (02) 737-1000 or online.

If setting an appointment over the telephone, Customer Care Officers will ask you for your personal information and remind you of what you need to bring. They will also give you the code that you will need to download and print your application form.

You can also set an appointment via DFA's dedicated passport website. You can choose the date and time of your appointment, then get your reference number and a link for the application form through e-mail. Never ever rely on fixers to do these things for you. Better safe than sorry, right?

Getting your passport

On your appointment date, go to the DFA Consular Office at the Aseana Business Park at the corner of Bradco Avenue and Macapagal Boulevard in Paranaque City. The DFA says you need to be there, with all the required documents and IDs, 30 minutes before your scheduled time. If you come late, you will need to set another appointment.

Also remember to dress appropriately: No sandos, spaghetti straps, shorts, or slippers.

Once at the consular office, you need to head to the processing area so the DFA can check your papers. When that is done, you will be told to head to the Passport Enrollment Section, where you will pay P950 for regular processing, which takes 15 working days. If short on time, you can pay P1,200 for rush processing and get your passport after seven working days.

The DFA will also take your picture for your passport. Since this is an official government document, you are expected to look directly at the camera with a neutral expression. "Contrived expressions such as raised eyebrows, squinting or frowning are not acceptable," DFA says.

You can smile but you are not supposed to show your teeth and gums. "The 'Mona Lisa' smile is recommended," the DFA says.

After paying, you will be told to head to the Encoding Section for data capturing and you're done. You can either come back on the release date to pick up your passport or pay them to have your passport delivered to you.

Getting a passport used to involve standing around at the DFA for at least half a day but the system that the DFA is using now has cut down that time significantly. That means you'll have more time and energy for bigger challenges: getting a ticket during a seat sale, and going through Terminal 1 at Ninoy Aquino International Airport.

from: By Jonathan de Santos | Yahoo! Southeast Asia Newsroom

Top 40 Richest People In The Philippines 2011

While waiting for the 2012 list of top 40 richest in the Philippines to be posted, let us first review the records from 2011. 

Based from 2011 Forbes Billionaires List, below are the 40 richest in 2011:

Rank                            Name                           Net Worth ($mil)                          Age 

1                                  Henry Sy                             7,200                                        86
2                                  Lucio Tan                            2,800                                        77
3                                  John Gokongwei Jr.             2,400                                        83
4                                  Andrew Tan                         2,000                                        58
5                                  David Consunji                    1,900                                        90
6                                  Jaime Zobel de Ayala           1,700                                        77
7                                  Enrique Razon Jr.                 1,600                                        51
8                                  Eduardo Cojuangco Jr.          1,400                                        76
9                                  Roberto Ongpin                    1,300                                        74
10                                George Ty                            1,100                                        78
11                                Tony Tan Caktiong                 1,000                                        58
12                                Inigo & Mercedes Zobel           980                                         NA
13                                 Emilio Yap                             930                                         85
14                                 Andrew Gotianun                    795                                         83
15                                Jon Ramon Aboitiz                   760                                         62
16                                 Beatrice Campos                     685                                        NA
17                                 Manuel Villar                           620                                         61
18                                 Vivian Que Azcona                  555                                         NA
19                                 Robert Coyiuto Jr.                   400                                        58
20                                 Mariano Tan                            375                                        NA
21                                 Alfonso Yuchengco                   370                                        88
22                                 Enrique Aboitiz                       310                                        89
23                                 Oscar Lopez                            280                                        81
24                                 Jose Antonio                           245                                        64
25                                  Eric Recto                              200                                       48
26                                  Gilberto Duavit                       190                                       76
27                                  Menardo Jimenez                    185                                       79
28                                  Alfredo Ramos                         180                                       67 29                                  Betty Ang                                165                                      NA
30                                  Felipe Gozon                           163                                       71
31                                  Tomas Alcantara                       160                                      65
32                                  Benjamin Romualdez                155                                      81
33                                  Wilfred Uytengsu Jr.                 150                                     49
34                                  Manuel Zamora Jr.                    145                                      71
35                                 Jacinto Ng Sr.                           115                                      NA
36                                  Frederick Dy                            110                                      56
37                                  Luis Virata                               100                                      57
38                                  Bienvenido Tantoco Sr.               95                                      90
39                                  Eugenio Lopez III                       90                                      59
40                                  Edgar Sia II                                85                                    NA

Updates for the new list for 2012 will be posted here as soon as the data will be released by Forbes.